The Power of Positive Self-Talk

We don’t always realize how powerful words are until they start sticking to us.

Maybe it’s that weird nickname someone gave you at school.

Maybe it’s the joke your friends make about you all the time.

Or that one comment someone said years ago that still shows up in your mind when you’re alone.

Sometimes people call you something once, and before you know it, you start to believe it.

That’s how powerful words can be, especially the ones we repeat to ourselves.

As individuals, especially as young black girls navigating school, friendships, insecurities and expectations, we need to understand something: what we say to ourselves matters even more than what others say about us.

You might not have control over everything people call you, but you do have control over the words you plant inside your own mind. And those words – the ones you repeat to yourself quietly, every single day – can either build you up or slowly break you down.

Think about it for a second.

We all have that inner voice, the running commentary in our heads that speaks to us more than anyone else ever will. And for many girls, especially growing up in environments filled with pressure and comparison, that voice can become harsh. It’s the one that whispers things like:

“You’re not pretty enough.”

“You don’t fit in.”

“You always mess things up.”

“Other girls are way better than you.”

Sis, that voice doesn’t have to stay that way. You can train it. You can change it.

That’s the power of positive self-talk.

Now, let’s be clear, positive self-talk isn’t about pretending your life is perfect. It’s not about forcing yourself to smile when you don’t feel like it.

It’s simply choosing to speak to yourself with truth and kindness instead of fear and shame.

Think of your mind like a garden.

Negative thoughts are weeds, they grow fast and spread quickly.

Positive thoughts are flowers, they need planting and watering.

If you don’t plant anything intentionally, the weeds take over.

But when you start planting good seeds,

“I’m learning.”

“I deserve good things.”

“I am enough.”

“I don’t have to be perfect.” 

the garden begins to change. Slowly, but beautifully.

So how do you start practicing positive self-talk?

1. Notice the negative voice.

Whenever you catch yourself thinking something hurtful about yourself, pause. That awareness is the first step.

2. Replace it with something true.

Not fake positivity, just gentle honesty.

“I made a mistake, but I can improve.”

“I may not be there yet, but I’m trying.”

3. Speak to yourself the way you’d speak to a friend you love.

If you wouldn’t say it to her, don’t say it to yourself.

4. Surround yourself with better words.

Quotes, affirmations, music, books, people, anything that feeds your mind with encouragement instead of doubt.

With time, your inner voice becomes softer, kinder and stronger.

And when that happens, your confidence grows.

Your choices change.

Your relationships shift.

You show up differently, with more courage, more belief and more peace.

Positive self-talk doesn’t magically fix everything, but it gives you something powerful:

a safe place inside yourself.

And every girl deserves that.

Including you.

So today, start with one sentence.

Just one.

“I deserve to speak kindly to myself.”

Say it again tomorrow.

And the next day.

And watch how your world slowly transforms from the inside out.

You’ve got this❤️